This is a blog series based on The Five Congregational Personality Types. I’m briefly describing each of the five types and their potential dark side. If you want to go deeper with each one, order the book here, and get registered for the free webinar coming up this Thursday May 2nd at 12pm EST! The image generated above comes from the personality assessment for St Marks UMC in Ocala, FL. All webinar participants will be given access to the assessment for free!
III. Fellowship Centered
“They devoted themselves to the apostles’ teaching and fellowship, to the breaking of bread and the prayers.”
Acts 2:42
Early in the life of the church we see some consistent ingredients that make up what it means to be the church. Acts 2 shows us that those first believers devoted themselves to the apostles’ teaching (proclamation centered), breaking of bread (generosity centered), the prayers and wonders (healing centered), and the Lord was adding outsiders to their numbers (outreach). If we’re not careful, we might skip right over that little word… fellowship.
A healthy growing church in Acts expressed all these characteristics at some level and this is true of healthy growing congregations today. But the word fellowship is somehow in the center of it all.
The Greek word that we translate as fellowship is κοινωνία (koinonia). The word occurs 20 times in four unique forms in the Greek text upon which many New Testament versions are based. It was an important concept to those First Century Christians, and it should be an important concept to us 21st Century Christians!
Fellowship, κοινωνία can mean partnership, social intercourse, financial benefaction, or communion. Within it is the concept of generosity, the share which one has in anything, participation in a gift jointly contributed, a collection or a contribution, as exhibiting an embodiment and proof of fellowship. But at the deepest level it also means mutual vulnerability, fellowship, and intimacy. This language that borders on spiritual eroticism, envisions a group of people who share such a depth of union, it’s as if they penetrate and are bound to each other at a soul level. In short, it describes a type of community that shares the deepest intimacy.
Agreeableness is the main personality trait of fellowship congregations. There is a quality of being friendly, considerate of others, and a general concern for social harmony. Agreeable congregations value getting along with each other, making things work, and cherishing long held relationships. When healthy they have an optimistic view of human nature. They show genuine concern for community members and their happiness. Fellowship is the communal embodiment of healthy agreeableness. These are congregations where kind pastors thrive.
Fellowship centered congregations love to be together. They enjoy a shared life. They are always creating ways to be in each other’s presence. This is a congregation that has lots of get togethers and social events, from potlucks, to yard sales, to church clean ups, and sowing circles. Essentially, if there’s a reason to meet, they’ll find a way to do it!
At their best, these churches can become a place where healthy conversations, and deep intimacy, can help people grow and heal. This includes quality activities, potlucks, yard sales, hymn sings, sowing circles, chatting over coffee, craft beer, yoga, or even running a 5k. In the rapid pace of a world in a hurry, these moments of fellowship are a counter-cultural witness. They embody a quality of community, a community that is Jesus’ gift to the world, a community that can bring healing amid an epidemic of loneliness and isolation.
The Dark Side of a Fellowship Centered Congregation
It’s not hard to see the dark side of a fellowship congregation. They can become self-absorbed, internally focused, and even hostile to outsiders. Every time a new person comes into the fellowship, it changes the social dynamics. Strangers can threaten the cohesiveness and the intimacy of the group.
At some level, every congregation is exclusive by nature. Any time we decide to gather in a particular place, at a particular time, and in a particular way, we will include some people, but we will inevitably by default exclude others. While this is true of every congregation, it is particularly so of a fellowship centered congregation. Exclusion: this is the primary dark side of this kind of community
Research in group dynamics reveals that whenever a new person enters a social system, it requires adaptation to the newcomer. This can leave tightly knit groups and families feeling vulnerable. A social system can find a certain equilibrium, a rhythm of community. Newcomers threaten that equilibrium. They send the system into chaos, at least momentarily. Unhealthy fellowship congregations exist as a closed system. Closed systems exist in particular contexts, but the systems operations do not depend on those contexts. In comparison, an open system not only takes its context into consideration but depends on its environment for input and resources.
Fellowship centered congregations, particularly those that exist in the same location for many years, can become closed systems. The context changes, but the church does not. The church continues to function under the assumptions of a previous societal form, while those assumptions have become largely invalid. These groups have thinking and skill sets geared primarily toward a “closed system.” If a system stays closed for too long, its inhabitants perish. A system needs healthy input and output in order to thrive.
If you want to learn more, register for the upcoming webinar here.